1. Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.(Won't you be my neighbor?...umm..I don't think so. Because if I swore at my lawn mower that didn't start, then I would have to have him praying for forgiveness, and well, lets just say I would be keeping the poor guy really busy.)
2. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. That settles it. As suspected, I am NOT average. And, who measures this stuff? I would never fall asleep in seven minutes if I was in some lab knowing that someone was measuring when I fell asleep.
3. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. Seriously, who counted them? And why not 337 or 335? And why are there dimples anyway? Why didn't they make them round, without any dimples? Inquiring minds want to know!! And do the little golf ball get their dimples from their mama or daddy's side of the family? Do they get more dates?
4. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. You are going to type this word now, aren't you? Or look for longer words with the left hand of the keyboard. Go ahead. I'll wait....if you come up with a longer one, let us know.
5. The data track on a CD is a very long spiral. If it were unwound and laid out in a straight line, it would be over 3.5 miles long. Since there is no way to really unwind the data track on a CD, there is no way to dispute this, now is there? Don't you just hate this crap?
6. It is impossible to lick your elbow or stick your elbow in your ear. Puh-leeze do NOT try this after reading this. I don't want to be responsible for you having to go to your Chiropractor. I don't think you can kiss your own butt, either, and I don't want to even PICTURE that move!
7. A crocodile can't stick its tongue out. Besides, are you going to stick around and ask him to do that? Nope. I didn't think so. Wonder how the doctor checks his tonsils out then? Besides, when the crocodile is pissed off at you, he will just flip you off, and then eat you....no need for him to stick his tongue out at you.
8. A shrimp's heart is in its head. Please do NOT check his pulse by holding his little head, it gives them a headache. And maybe that's where the song: "I left my shrimp in San Francisco" came about.
9. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so). I want THAT job. Watching ostriches for years to see if they bury their heads in the sand. Cripes. If that is what you are looking for, just watch a Politician. He will do it before the end of his first term.
10. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. Oh, no. I know exactly where you are headed. You are going to climb up on the barn roof and clap your hands and make oink noises just to see if those poor little critters will look up at you or not. Have you seen their necks? Exactly. They hardly HAVE any neck. That is probably why they can't look up. Don' t be asking them: "Say, see that cloud? What do you see? I see one the shape of a dog, what do YOU see? because if you do, you are going to make him mad. Nothing worse than a mad pig....I don't want my pork chops tough. So, please don't go there....
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