Thursday, May 27, 2010

Yuck, Ick and Peeee-you!!!

 Once again, I found a disgusting unique news story to share with you, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics below the news article...so here we go!!!! :




* The entertainment manager at Thorpe Park in Surrey, England,
announced in February a contest seeking foul-smelling urine.  The
park has introduced a live action horror maze based on scenes from
the "Saw" movie series and decided that it was missing a "signature
stench" to "really push the boundaries" of disgustingness.  Manager
Laura Sinclair suggested that submissions' pungency would be
enhanced after consumption of such foods as garlic and asparagus
and offered a prize of the equivalent of about $750 for the winning
urine.  [Daily Mail, 2-25-10]

********************************************************************
1. I know you are leaving your computer on, and hopping into your car to run to the grocery store to buy some garlic and asparagus as you are drinking that gallon of water from your sports bottle. As disgusting as it sounds, you can use the $750.00.  One must be creative in this downed economy to make a little cash...

2.  I can think of a lot better ways to be horrified   entertained.  A "live action horror maze"? No thanks. Listen, I am ancient and wrinkled old . Not real senile old, but F/U old enough that every once in a while the old ticker skips a beat. Nothing earthshaking, but dang...I don't need to shock it with a "live action horror maze." Come to think of it, I already go through a live action horror maze...those three way mirrors in torture chambers changing rooms during the summer whilst trying on swimsuits..(what could be more horrifying than THAT?)

3. And,  come to think of it, I think I may have smelled some pretty horrendous urine odors in some of those one-holers roadside parks when we traveled to/from Florida. Why didn't the entertainment company save money and just go collect it there? 

4.  They are basing their entertainment live action horror maze from scenes from the movie: SAW???? Good God!! Who on EARTH would want to go into that??  Blood squirting everywhere from cut off fingers, legs, arms....oh....I get it...the smell of urine would actually come from patrons peeing and sheeting   their pants from fear....again, why get extra smelling urine to add to it? Overkill people, overkill!!

5. Can you hear it now? 
SCENE: you are picking up your friend to go to the unemployment office in your car:

Friend: "Oh, what a nice outfit you are wearing! Since we got laid off, my wardrobe sucks.....wherever did you get the extra money?"
You: "I got some extra cash from a "side job".
Friend: "That is wonderful, but are you holding out on me?! Are they doing any other hiring? What kind of side job was it?"
You: "Ummm....well...it is kind of hard to explain. It was kind of a delivery job."
Friend: "I think I could handle that...what kind of delivery job?"
You: "Well, it had to do with handling fluids".
Friend: "Easy Peasy....what kind of fluids?"
You: "It's kind of personal...just forget it".
Friend: "Personal?  You aren't hoarding the job all to yourself are you???..because I could really use some cash too...."
You: "No, no, I think it was just a one-time kind of job. I don't think they are hiring me or anyone else right now for any more...ummm.. fluid handling".
Friend: "Whew..what IS that smell???? Man, you gotta clean your car! Smells like both your cat AND your dog and maybe a few goats went to the bathroom in here....and you know what? This is really odd...but I think I smell garlic. And I am really craving asparagus.  How odd!"
*********************************************************************
May the rest of your week be better than 
being that Entertainment Manager
or
the people
who went ahead 
and applied for the cash "opportunity".

No comments:

Post a Comment