Yuck, Ick and Peeee-you!!!

 Once again, I found a disgusting unique news story to share with you, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics below the news article...so here we go!!!! :

* The entertainment manager at Thorpe Park in Surrey, England,

announced in February a contest seeking foul-smelling urine.  The

park has introduced a live action horror maze based on scenes from

the "Saw" movie series and decided that it was missing a "signature

stench" to "really push the boundaries" of disgustingness.  Manager

Laura Sinclair suggested that submissions' pungency would be

enhanced after consumption of such foods as garlic and asparagus

and offered a prize of the equivalent of about $750 for the winning

urine.  [Daily Mail, 2-25-10]

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1. I know you are leaving your computer on, and hopping into your car to run to the grocery store to buy some garlic and asparagus as you are drinking that gallon of water from your sports bottle. As disgusting as it sounds, you can use the $750.00.  One must be creative in this downed economy to make a little cash...

2.  I can think of a lot better ways to be horrified   entertained.  A "live action horror maze"? No thanks. Listen, I am ancient and wrinkled old . Not real senile old, but F/U old enough that every once in a while the old ticker skips a beat. Nothing earthshaking, but dang...I don't need to shock it with a "live action horror maze." Come to think of it, I already go through a live action horror maze...those three way mirrors in torture chambers changing rooms during the summer whilst trying on swimsuits..(what could be more horrifying than THAT?)

3. And,  come to think of it, I think I may have smelled some pretty horrendous urine odors in some of those one-holers roadside parks when we traveled to/from Florida. Why didn't the entertainment company save money and just go collect it there? 

4.  They are basing their entertainment live action horror maze from scenes from the movie: SAW???? Good God!! Who on EARTH would want to go into that??  Blood squirting everywhere from cut off fingers, legs, arms....oh....I get it...the smell of urine would actually come from patrons peeing and sheeting   their pants from fear....again, why get extra smelling urine to add to it? Overkill people, overkill!!

5. Can you hear it now? 

SCENE: you are picking up your friend to go to the unemployment office in your car:

Friend: "Oh, what a nice outfit you are wearing! Since we got laid off, my wardrobe sucks.....wherever did you get the extra money?"

You: "I got some extra cash from a "side job".

Friend: "That is wonderful, but are you holding out on me?! Are they doing any other hiring? What kind of side job was it?"

You: "Ummm....well...it is kind of hard to explain. It was kind of a delivery job."

Friend: "I think I could handle that...what kind of delivery job?"

You: "Well, it had to do with handling fluids".

Friend: "Easy Peasy....what kind of fluids?"

You: "It's kind of personal...just forget it".

Friend: "Personal?  You aren't hoarding the job all to yourself are you???..because I could really use some cash too...."

You: "No, no, I think it was just a one-time kind of job. I don't think they are hiring me or anyone else right now for any more...ummm.. fluid handling".

Friend: "Whew..what IS that smell???? Man, you gotta clean your car! Smells like both your cat AND your dog and maybe a few goats went to the bathroom in here....and you know what? This is really odd...but I think I smell garlic. And I am really craving asparagus.  How odd!"

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May the rest of your week be better than 

being that Entertainment Manager

or

the people

who went ahead 

and applied for the cash "opportunity".

A New Fundraiser...

Yes, indeed!

It is time again for some Weird News Articles, along with MY COMMENTS in bold italics!

***************************************************************************

WOMAN SELLS SOULS TO HIGHEST BIDDER

(03-08) 20:33 PST WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) --
The rare spirits that went under the gavel at a recent online auction in New Zealand weren't aged brandies or hard-to-find liqueurs.

Instead, two glass vials purportedly containing the ghosts of two dead people sold for $2,830 New Zealand dollars ($1,983) at an auction that ended Monday night.

The "ghosts" were put up for bidding by Avie Woodbury from the southern city of Christchurch. She said they were captured in her house and stored in glass vials with stoppers and dipped in holy water, which she says "dulls the spirits' energy."

She said they were the spirits of an old man who lived in the house during the 1920s, and a powerful, disruptive little girl who turned up after a session with a spirit-calling Ouija board.

Since an exorcism at the property last July led to their capture, there has been no further spooky activity in the house, she said.

The auction attracted more than 214,000 page views and dozens of questions before the winning bid, Trademe auction site spokesman Paul Ford said Tuesday. The name of the winning bidder was not released.

Woodbury said that once an "exorcist's fee" has been deducted, the proceeds of the spirit sale will go to the animal welfare group the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

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1. How many ways can you spell "SUCKER"????

2.  "The name of the winner was not released".  Umm, yeah.  I am sure (s)he wouldn't want the ridicule that would definitely be received.

3. Remind me to buy some holy water, so I can "dull the spirits' energy"...I mean, you wouldn't want them to hold wild parties at your house in the jars, would you?

4. I TOLD my kids not to play with that Ouji Board!  They are dangerous!!!  See? This one called up a little girl!

5. An exorcism "led to their capture"???  Well, heck.....this is a great fundraiser, people!! No more baking cookies for those bake sales, no more rummage sales or craft sales needed.....just hold an exorcism, get  your glass jars ready (along with the obligatory holy water) and capture those buggers in a jar....then auction the spirits off and Whola!  you can raise a thousand or so bucks.

We will go into the ghost capturing business for fundraising...."Ghosts R Us, for your Bucks" is what we will name it.....

6. Wonder what the "exorcist fee" was?  How much did these suckers pay for a person to say they captured spirits in a jar of holy water????  Maybe THAT would be more profitable than the Ghosts R Us, for Your Bucks business...we will just be the ghostbusters.....!!!

7. Poor economy? Phssht....no problem.....we'll just go capture all the spirits, put them in a jar and make a million dollars together.....meet you at the holy water supply store.  I'll be the one wearing the big smile......

No thanks, Ma'm.......

I know how you all LOVE weird news stories....so here is one for you today! (Along with MY COMMENTS):




* Lisa Newsome, 42, was arrested in Zachary, La., in August,
caught trying to smuggle a 24-can case of beer out of a
convenience store. The heavyset, housecoat-clad Newsome was
squeezing the 20-pound case between her legs as she waddled from
the cooler toward the front door. When police arrived, Newsome
offered to pull up the dress to demonstrate how she carried the
case, but, said a police captain, "I told her, no thanks. I wasn't into
that." [WFTS-TV (Tampa)-AP, 9-1-09]

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1. Okay, I know you all know I went to Florida not too long ago. And I know YOU know that my daughter lives close to Tampa (in Madeira Beach)....but I SWEAR it was NOT me.

2. I don't wear dresses that often anyway.

3. Ok. I do waddle. I admit it.

4. But I am not as coordinated as this lady.

5. And I don't like beer. Now Amaretto and sour? I'd attempt it for THAT.

6. But 42 is just a memory for me at this point.

7. A memory I don't even remember, how sad is THAT?

8. In certain moods (especially after an Amaretto and Sour), I'd probably feel like flashing a policeman.

9. Because there is just something about a guy in uniform, just sayin'.

10. There are certain men (who shall remain nameless) that just might be into a woman with contortionist skills such as the ones she displayed.

11.There are certain men (who shall also remain nameless) that would LOVE a woman willing to smuggle a case of beer out this way for them.

12. I know, because I dated one once.

13. Okay. Maybe MORE than one.

14. And maybe (just maybe) I also dated a policeman or two once, too.

15. But I shall remain silent, should it be used against me in a court of law....