Tuesday, June 8, 2010

More Local Police Reports!!!

Yes, that's right folks..

Time (again!)
for
Local Police Reports!



For those of you that are new to my blog (and thank you very much!!),
I occasionally provide
copies of REAL police reports from my local newspaper.
(Because, frankly, people...
you just can't make this stuff UP!)
and
I add
my own commments in bold italics.
So,
here you are!:




**********************************************************************

In case you are reading this on your I-phone and the print is awful (which it is because I scanned it), it says:

"9:48am: group of people in lot yelling and chanting,
turned out to be magazine salespeople getting ready
for their daily fireup before hitting the streets" (address).

1. Okay..this flat out made me giggle.

2. Who on earth would call this into the police? What were they afraid of?  Were they traumatized by door-to-door salespersons as a child?  Or maybe they were traumatized by those bible bangers that stop by pushing their "Lampost" magazines?

3. Can you picture this? 

4. It could be worse. You could have a job like those salespeople.

5. Have you ever seen them do this in Walmart?  One day, I was particularly tired and rushed to pick up something around 7am before work in a Walmart. Unknown to me, they gathered behind me and began YELLING their team-whatever-chant.  I dropped what I had in my hands I was so startled.  They just stopped, mid-chant, looked at me and then started up again. LOL

6. Come to think of it, maybe they DID need to be arrested. It's just wrong, people, totally and unequivitably WRONG.

7. I bet they never made ONE SINGLE sale on THAT block.

8. Can you imagine the police talking to them when they arrived after getting the complaint?
Police: "Ummm, who is the leader here in this gathering?"
Salesman Supervior (SS): "I am, Sir!"
Police: "What is it that is happening here? Is this some sort of protest?"
SS: "Oh no, Sir...we are just having our morning meeting to fire up for the day of sales".
Police: "Kind of unusual and suspicious behavior. You know, we have a complaint lodged against you..and possibly warranted. I mean, you all are kind of nerdy. Don't  you have a LIFE? You mean you LIKE this kind of work?"
SS: Yes, Sir..why, I practically LIVE sales. In fact, we sell the "Police Monthly"...here just take a looky, shall we...see the Police Officer of the Month in the fold out? Yessiree, you are going to want to take advantage of our special...today only!....a one year's subscription for the price of 18 months...you can't say NO to that, now can you?  Or how about "Detectives are Us"...you look like the kind of person that likes a bargain, no?"
Police: "That's it, fella....Book 'em Dano...The charges  you ask???  Solicitation without common sense and decency, disturbing the peace, not having a life, and being just plain annoying."

8. Yes, I have changed my mind. I would have called the complaint into the police, after all. 
(unless of course, they were selling "Bloggers' Business Weekly".  Hmmmm, wonder what block they are in today??????????????????????????????

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