Local Police Report Time Again...

Yes, I am overdue in giving you my regular post of local news reports. I have quite the collection of them all the way from last year, since I started reading them and finding them so funny. This one is over a year old already. How time flies when we are having fun.

Once again, MY COMMENTS are in bold italics below:




1. Drunken men throwing apples:
Well, this would not be a problem if the goal is to make applesauce. And, it is cheaper than paint shooting at others. If you get hit, you just eat the applesauce and juice from your wounds.
How did they know they were drunk? Maybe it was an anger management therapy group? Maybe it was an innovative baseball training practice?

2. Possible dog bite:
Now this one intrigues me. How would they NOT know what animal bit them? Maybe it was a drunken apple thrower that got bit and he just can't recall what bit him?

3. Juveniles spraying water at an outbuilding:
That may not be a bad thing. If the outbuilding was an outhouse, it would actually be a community service, now wouldn't it? Or, if the building needed painting, they may have been pressure washing the building.

4. Kids diving off crane:
Now THIS would concern me if they didn't have bungee cords. Come to think of it, if they didn't have bungee cords, they could only do it ONCE, right? If they DID have bungee cords, it was pretty inventive and cheap entertainment. At least the little buggers weren't spraying outbuildings or throwing apples, right?

That's the local police report for this week! Evidently, it was another slow news day in the U.P. for crime (Thank goodness) and a good day for a chuckle...