It's that time again.
Time for a local Police Report for you straight from here. I know you can hardly contain yourselves.
This is a short one. Only one thing circled:
For my fellow Bifocal wearers, I will retype this little jewel for you below:
"7:15 pm: report of stolen vehicle, later found. Owner had forgotten where it was parked."
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MY COMMENTS:
1. Did they give them the name of the local Alzheimer's Unit?
2. Did they give them a breathalizer test?
3. Did they check to see if it really was this person's car, or did the police just help someone steal a car?
4. Was it ME? (I'll never tell)......
5. Quit laughing. It could have been YOU. Admit it. Who hasn't gone into Walmart and then come out and have NO IDEA where you parked? If you said it hasn't happened to you, you are a liar.
6. Like, dude. How embarrassed would you be? Here is the police. Everybody is watching what the deal is. You are distraught, giving the police the description of your car:
"Oh, Dear. That car is just a few years old. I just don't know WHAT I am going to do!" (wringing hands).
Officer: Its okay, M'am. We will do our best to find it for you and put the person in jail who did this to you.
"And I had my favorite pictures in the car of my kids. Oh Dear!" (starting to cry now)
Officer: Don't cry. We will give you a ride home. Is there anyone we can call for you?
"Oh, my husband is going to be SO upset! He doesn't even like it when the car gets a spot of dirt on it..and now THIS. How will I ever tell him?"
Officer: We can help you with that. We can tell him of all the statistics of car thefts in the area. It happens more often than you know, Ma'm. Could have happened to anyone!
"Wait a minute....ummmmmmmmm"....(look of recognition and then horror) "I THINK...I mean don't quote me on this..but I THINK maybe....just maybe...that's my car right here. Well, what do you think of that??? (looking at shoes and kicking can)...maybe they brought it back? (smiling weakly). I mean...it is possible that I might have, well, maybe...just a tinsy bit maybe...have just forgotten that I parked it here???? I mean they all do kinda look alike, don't they? Officer???? Officer???? Now where did they GO?"......
Just remember this lady when you think YOU are having a bad day. Not so bad NOW , is it???
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